February 2012
Me: I insult her to her face and she still thinks I like her.
Ruth: You insult everyone to their face.
Me: Do i really?
Entire lunch group: YES.
me: hey
friend: i have a boyfriend
me: whats up
friend: we totally made out last night
me: ok so how are you
friend: in love with my hot boyfriend
me: wow
friend: boyfriend
“She’s eating her fifty square feet of death.
I’m eating my organic vegan local...”
– Andrea Gibson, “Name That Meat”
i hope rick santorum goes to the corner store to get a can of delicious arizona iced tea and when he takes out his wallet he grabs it wrong and it opens at a weird angle and all his change and his bank card and drivers license fall out and everyone behind him in line is looking at him like “wow what an idiot” while he frantically tries to pick up all his pennies
“Closing your eyes isn’t going to change anything. Nothing’s going to disappear...”
– Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)
